I have been at a loss for words lately. I have been trying very hard to stay upbeat as we have watched not just ourselves, but quite a few people we love and care about struggle financially. It is such a hard thing to watch. In my own life, as hard as it is, it is manageable. But it is harder when it is people who seem to have struggled so much through the past several years, both with finances and medical conditions that seem to come one right after the other. I have questioned why, when they have sacrificed so much to try and live the way they believe the Lord would have them live. Yet I know, deep down, that we are all being blessed. Maybe not the way we would choose, but the way that the Lord sees fit.
Every six months, our church has a general conference that is broadcast world wide. It is an awesome experience to get to hear from prophets and apostles of the Lord. They provide encouragement. They provide useful advice. Occasionally, they chastise and remind us of the things we should be doing. As this fall's conference is approaching, I can't help think of what they would tell us to fix our financial problems.
I believe they would remind us, once again, of the need to be self reliant. I understand that the world we live in is very dependent upon lots of people. This isn't like pioneer times when each family had farms where they raised their own meats and crops, made their own soaps, butters, and any other goods that might be needed. We live in a time where most people live places that make anything more than a minimal garden very difficult. But that doesn't mean we can't be self reliant. If we aren't there now, it is time to prepare ourselves for that. It is truthfully about living on less. One of my favorite questions is "Is it a want or a need?" So many times in my life, I work and work and work for something that turns out to be a want, not a need. I don't need an ATV or a trailer or a really cool SUV. My seven year old mini-van will suffice. It doesn't hurt my husband to drive a 12 year old sedan. It isn't what we would love to have, but our needs are being met. Someday, when we have more expendable income, we will get that nice SUV. For now, we will survive and take care of the things we have.
One of the things we have had to cut out in our efforts to become self reliant is fast food. It has been hard. My kids love the occasional Happy Meal. But we don't eat out anymore. To eat out once takes about 10% of my monthly grocery budget. Sometimes a lot more, depending on where we go. Now it is a treat. We went to McDonald's for my three year old's birthday. He got to choose where we went. Not Mom's idea of a great birthday celebration, but a play land beats a nice sit down place in his eyes any day. We eat out less than once a month now. It is hard, especially when we have driven in to town to run our errands and find that the time has now come for dinner. Instead, I pack sandwiches in our little cooler and we find a park and sit down to eat on the grass. Not as exciting as fries and a free toy, but much better on our wallets. Last week, I didn't follow my own rule. We went out to eat one night. Then, the whole way home, I wanted to kick myself for wasting so much money. Especially knowing that I could have gotten three or four nice meals for that same amount of money if I made them at home.
There are so many other things that we can do to become self reliant. I am so grateful for our financial challenges. They have brought us closer together as a couple. As we prioritize what we really want out of life, it becomes easier to stay strong together. We sit down monthly and review our game plan. We have a budget that we stick to like glue. As extra money comes in, we decide what we want to put it towards and how it will help our long term goal of becoming debt free. It makes it easier to not spend it on something that we don't really need. But we also make it a matter of prayer. When we hit our knees and tell the Lord what we need, we find that we usually happen to have it happen. Last month we were short what we needed for our budget. We were debating what to do. I decided to clean out our freezer and found some freezer wrapped hamburger and chicken in the very back. Enough for a whole months groceries. It may seem small, but not having to buy meat for the month made up the money we were short. I believe that as we prayerfully work our hardest and tell the Lord what we need, the windows of Heaven will open and we will be taken care of. That doesn't mean that it is always the way we would desire. It means it is the way that will take care of our immediate needs.
Self reliance is such a broad topic and one I could talk about for hours. I am trying to focus on the little things in my own life that I have control over. So next time, I will focus on something else. But I do have to do a plug for meal planning, once again. If there has been anything that has had a bigger impact on our budget and sticking to it, it is meal planning. It makes it possible to avoid going to the grocery store for last minute purchases. It is so much easier to talk myself out of going out to eat when I know what I am making. I take the meat out the night before and stick it in the fridge. Then the excuse is totally gone when it gets close to dinner time. I love meal planning. It has literally changed my life. Plus, since I started meal planning when we first got married, my husband has lost ten pounds (I know, not much over a five year period) and I have lost over fifteen (If you take out all of those times when I am pregnant. That kind of kills my average!) without either of us doing any fad dieting. So, consider starting it, even if it is only one week at a time. I promise, you will see a difference!
