We're All Winners!

Recently, our family has gone to two community events. Both were baseball games and involved adults playing against kids and teens. At these events, I noticed something that seems to becoming a serious trend. As a Mom, I can see why people do it. It makes kids feel good. It gives everyone a chance to shine. But as a Mom, it terrifies me. Is this what we are raising our children to expect?

What, you ask, am I referring to? The idea that no one can strike out, that everyone gets to bat. We see it in our schools more and more. Every person who tries out has to make the team. Every person on the team has to play. Everyone is a winner. Society is the loser. I watched these games, both of which the Handsome Hubby played in, with growing annoyance. What happened to three strikes and you're out? What happened to sitting on the bench if you aren't playing well? We are raising a generation of children who are entitled. Entitled to win. Entitled to play. Entitled to a job and a house and all of those things that are part of the American dream. But with one exception. The American dream hinges on the idea that we can accomplish anything with a lot of hard work. Are we teaching this to our children?

The first game was won by the kids. The kids cheered and talked about how they beat the adults. It was a fun win for the kids. It was a sad commentary on the society we live in. Thirteen kids got up to bat with nine outs in the last inning. NINE. Every kid who wanted to bat had to have a chance. Every kid who got up to bat got a hit. Every kid who got up to bat was a winner. I played a very different kind of sport. I was a sporty girl. I loved playing. I wasn't very good at anything, however. I played softball from the age of ten through high school. I wasn't good enough to make the team. I played on a community girls team. I loved it. It was fun to me. Still, there were times that I hated it. I wasn't a very good batter. I struck out. A LOT. I remember one of the few games that my Grandpa came to watch. I wanted so badly to hit the ball. I struck out instead. Twice. It was humiliating. I was very sad. I wanted to impress him and show him that I was good at something. I learned a good lesson, though. I could deal with embarrassment. I could pick myself up, wipe myself off, and play again the next time. I wanted to pitch or play first base. I was tall enough. Not good enough. Instead I was relegated to the outfield. I didn't love it. Surprisingly, though, I was a good outfielder. I really was. I wasn't a great infielder. I learned to like it. I learned to watch the game from a different perspective.

I hope that someday, my kids will lose. I hope that they will play sports and someone will keep the score. I hope they will have to sit on the bench occasionally. I hope that they will strike out and miss that catch. I hope they will try out for something and get turned down. I hope they will learn to dust themselves off and try again. Maybe that will mean playing baseball with Mom and Dad to practice and get better. Maybe it means just not playing. It also means learning to handle disappointment. It means learning that they aren't great at everything and that is okay. My children need to learn the value of being told no; from me, from teachers, from coaches and employers. They need to learn that working hard is a part of the equation. That they are capable of anything and that part of that is being capable of overcoming the adversities in life.

Life is full of adversities. Life is hard and difficult and full of tears. There are days that the whole world is falling apart and it hurts so bad. However, we keep on going, knowing the days will get better. There is sunshine out there and it will find us. We will find a job. We will figure out how to overcome this trial. We will handle this disappointment and come out stronger and healthier. Looking back on the trials in life, I am amazed at the strength I learned I had. When my husband finished college, he was looking for a job. He couldn't find one. He applied everywhere. Being a teacher, he had a very short window of opportunity to find a job. Once the school year started, he wasn't going to be finding one. So, he worked as a substitute teacher during the day and delivered pizza at night. He worked about sixteen hours a day to provide for our family. It was a really hard time for us. But it taught us something very valuable. We could do hard things. We could overcome obstacles. We could strike out and still be okay.

Please, as a society, we need to stop this. We need to stop teaching our children the big lie that they are entitled to winning. The only thing that they are entitled to is having people who love them even when they strike out. My sweet children, I will love you forever. I will love you when you get cut from the team. I will wipe your tears when that girl you really cared about breaks up with you. I will hold your hand when you don't get that part in the school play. Then I will remind you that Mom loves you. I will remind you that Dad loves you. I will promise you that Heavenly Father loves you more than anyone else and He will always love you, even when your whole world falls apart. It will fall apart. It will feel like that hard time will never end. But you will be prepared for it. You will be prepared because you have learned to lose gracefully. You will be prepared because you understand that the only approval you need to be seeking for is His. You will be prepared because you will know that His plan is greater than our plan and His plan will provide us with endless happiness. Learn to lose and learn to trust in that plan and all will work out in the end. I promise!

Our attempt at a new outlook!

It has been FAR too long since I last wrote. Not for a lack of desire, but more because I haven't the foggiest idea how to share all of the wonderful things that seem to be going through my mind. First and foremost, we have a new little addition to our family. In February, our third child entered the world. He is absolute perfection. He is the easiest baby out of the three. He makes me happy. So do my other two. I love being a mom. I love being with my kids. I am not great at so many things. I don't do near enough with things like preschool and learning activities. But I am great at loving my kids.

There is no higher calling than being a mother. I remember being a small little girl and knowing that I wanted that more than anything. There was a time in my life when I didn't think it would happen. I thought that this most choice blessing wouldn't be mine. I was single and in my late twenties and wasn't sure I would ever meet my own Mr. Right. I was devastated by that idea. But I was also devastated by the idea that it also meant that I wouldn't get to have all of the babies I wanted. Then, Heavenly Father led me to a wonderful man who became my eternal companion. Within short order, our oldest was born. Now, I look at my three kids and am amazed at the blessings that call me Mommy. We don't have an extraordinary life. We are rather boring, in fact. We hang out at home most of the time. We struggle financially. We pray for miracles in our lives. We pray for our marriage and our children and all those that we hold dear. I never understood what being a mother really entailed. When my Mom would tell me that she prayed for me, I would laugh it off. I was a good kid, making good choices. Why would she need to pray for me? Yet, now I find my prayers laced with plea's for my kids. A prayer that one will figure out potty training. A prayer that another will be able to sleep in her big girl bed. A prayer that we can be better parents to the sweet little ones who sneak into our room in the middle of the night.

As a parent, what wouldn't we do for our children? I would lay down my life for my kids. I would take away all of their pain and all of their sorrow if I could. I would do anything to help them be the best person they can be. What a great testimony this is to me of the love of our Heavenly Father for us. My Heavenly Father loves His children far better than I could love my children. He wants nothing more for us than success. He wants to see us happy. He wants to hold us and wipe away our tears. He provided a way for us, to erase all of those tears and fears. To take away everything bad in our life. If we let him.

Too many times in our lives, we refuse to let the Lord take the reigns. I speak of this with more experience than I should have. I keep learning, over and over again, that I am not in control. I try to tell the Lord what I want, what I need. I take away His ability to give me what I really need. I ignore that He sees my true potential. He sees the lessons we need to learn from an experience. It doesn't take away all of our pain and trials, but it should help us feel less alone. We are never alone. If we could see the cheering section that surrounds us, we would never doubt ourselves ever again. I say this knowing that next week,I will still doubt myself. I say this knowing that tomorrow I may have a rough day with my kids or finances or some other trivial thing that will seem to take all of my energy and faith and everything that I am talking about now will go flying out the window. It is the way we are. It is far easier to talk about faith than to actually display it in our lives. So tonight, as I type this, I pray that I can teach them this lesson more than any other lesson. When we turn our lives over to the Lord, He will do far more with it than we ever thought possible.